Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion ****ing chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send ‘his’ email?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!

What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

**** ‘em!!

If you’re going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.

I’ve seen all the ‘send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being’ forwards about 90 times. I don’t ****ing care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it’s our own unpopularity.

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it’s funny, send it on.

Don’t piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he’ll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

Billy Connolly

PS Send me 15 bucks and then **** off.

Subject: 7 yr old with Cancer (this child is local)
Hi, my name is Amy Bruce. I am 7 years old, and I have a large tumor
on my brain and severe lung cancer. The doctors say I will die soon if
this isn’t fixed, and my family can’t pay the bills. ‘The Make A Wish
Foundation’ has agreed to donate 7 cents for every time this message
is sent on. For those of you who send this along, I thank you so much.

But for those who don’t send it, I will still pray for you. Please, if
you are a kind person, have a heart. Please, please, PLEASE HIT THE
FORWARD BUTTON.
Amy Bruce

Wake Forest Outpatient Dialysis
ForwardSourceID:NT00010D52

Please check with this website FIRST http://www.snopes.com/ before you even consider forwarding some sort of email that suggests money is involved or that forwarding the mails will benefit YOU by giving you luck or even worse….that you’ll have something terrible happen to you or your family if you don’t!